While sitting and waiting for The Papa Zena I had the highest of expectations. The description sounded great, the help was friendly and cute, the place was crowded and I was hungry as hell.
I feel sorry for you, the poor people of Reno. You live in a shitty city. A quick Google search of “America’s shittiest cities” primarily yields stories relating to cities located within Adam’s home state of Michigan, but somewhere on the second page you’ll find a link to the Reno, “America’s Biggest Little Shitty City.” Also you know nothing about sandwiches as evidenced by 4 star rating of this deli on yelp. One commenter exclamed "they cater too!" Who gives a fuck? Onto the sandwich.:
Meat(25):
x 12.5 Proscuttio.
Quality(15):
x 6 The Prosucttio was cheap, not very flavorful. That being said, bad proscuttio is still pretty tasty.
Quantity(10):
x 6.5 Places tend to skimp on the prosuct since it can be a little expensive. Paisan's bought the cheap stuff but gave a fairly solid amount.
Bread(20):
x 8
The lithosphere of this version of dutch crutch differed from last entries bread. The crutch itself was closer together and a little more greasy. Very little mantle here as well. This bread was ok, could have benefited from some toasting.
Value (20):
x 5
Menu lists the price at $6.45. I got a can of diet coke and this sandwich and it cost $10.85. No pickle, no chips, no potato salad. I figured I had just bought a $4 diet coke or Nevada had sales tax rate that similar to that of a Scandinavian country. A quick look at the receipt turns up a sandwich costing $8.25 and a can of diet coke that was "only" $1.95.
Spread (10):
x -3
Sun-dried tomato pesto spread. Sounds fucking awesome right? I thought so too. I was excited for this gourmet spread. Well this is really where Paisan's screwed the pooch. This spread was way too strong. In fact, it was the only thing I could really taste on the sandwich and it wasn't that good. I had to use one of my toothpicks to scrap a ton off and it still was overpowering. Just because something sounds great in theory and works well in some situations, doesn't mean that an over zealous application on every-fucking-thing-you-make will be a good, except orange sauce. Example: The internet and Pets.com. Let me take you back to 1999. Amazon is awesome, everybody is buying everything online. The genuises at pets.com say "Hey, the internet works for light stuff like books and DVDs, why can't we sell dog food and puppies on the NET?" Hey Silcon Valley dickhead, shipping 60 pounds of dog food across the country is not a good use of the internet. One word for you cock wallet: Walmart. You go there, buy your dog food for next to nothing, have an old person take it out to your car and put in in your trunk and drive home. No $80 shipping and handling. Is anyone suprised that pets.com went under when kids across the country were ordering pets online and a UPS ground shipped package showed up 12-17 business days later full of dead golden retrivers? Buying stuff on the internet and sundried tomato pesto are good, but not in every situation.
Fixings (10):
x 1 - leaf lettuce
Cheese:(5):
x 2 Mozarrella is the correct choice of cheese for this sandwich. Unfortunately the decision makers over at Paisan's decided to use slices of mozarrella. Wrong! Shredded and melted or the stuff you keep in the water.
Originality (5):
x 1
Not really that creative. Bonus point awarded here for unusual spread. No other elements of originality of note.
Sandwich shop/creator (5):
x 4
Cute cash register girl, clean shop, soda fountain and cooler, clean and quick service.
Total Points: 30.5
Disappointing for sure. I'd give the place another try on something a little more simple.
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